Writer, not

gut·ter clean·ing v: the act of committing one’s random or maddeningly obsessive thoughts to written form, so as to allow the resumption of unimpeded and coherent thought processes.  As in,

Unfortunate Title-Font Selections

Thought for the day, upon misplacing the car keys again: I do hate being a moron. It’s so inefficient.

Perhaps the opening line of my next WIP.

The proof is right here:

gut·ter clean·ing v: the act of committing one’s random or maddeningly obsessive thoughts to written form, so as to allow the resumption of unimpeded and coherent thought processes.  As in,

Libraries I have visited (because once I started the list, I really couldn’t stop now, could I?)

Denver (main branch)
New York City (main branch)
Boston (main branch)
Portsmouth, NH
Savannah, GA (can’t remember which branch)
Greenfield, MA
Huntington Beach, CA
University of California at Santa Cruz
Avon, CT
MIT
Gardena, CA
Turners Falls, MA
Sherman, TX
Marshalltown, IA
Minneapolis (main branch)
Malden, MA
Camden, ME
Orleans, MA
Syracuse University
Kittery, ME
Plaistow, NH

Missing from the list: US Library of Congress, libraries in foreign lands, and about a million others.

gut·ter clean·ing v: the act of committing one’s random or maddeningly obsessive thoughts to written form, so as to allow the resumption of unimpeded and coherent thought processes.  As in,

Jason Bourne’s Bucket List

	Avenge cold-blooded murder of girlfriend.
	Seek retribution against corrupt agency directors who gave me a mind-f#ck for the last ten years.
	Visit Grand Canyon.
	Put a stop to the Blackbriar program, once and for all.
	Ride that really scary roller coaster at Six Flags.
	Eviscerate that prick who always takes the handicapped parking spot at Dunkin’ Donuts.
	Read Eat, Pray, Love (finally!).

Depressed, weird, introverted loner.  Check, check, check, and check.

And not exactly people.  Check.

I doubt anyone will be harmed by reading these.

• Rosebud is Kane’s sled.
• Vader is Luke’s father. And Leia’s, too.  Who knew?
• Yes, Doc and Janey were lovers (points if you know that one).
• That huge marlin?  Gets eaten by sharks.
• It was Barzini all along.
• Marley dies in the end.
• Old Yeller does, too.
• And yes, even Anne Frank.
• Lucy always yanks the football away at the last second.
• Verbal Kint is Keyser Söze.
• The monster with nasty, big, pointy teeth?  A harmless little bunny.
• Kristin shot JR.  No one should ever have cared.
• John Galt is the guy who secretly worked on Dagny’s railroad.
• No.  It isn’t safe (that’s a clue, btw).
• It wasn’t Bill Buckner but Bob Stanley who blew Game 6.
• Sophie is actually the descendant of Jesus and Mary Magdalene (but hey, no pressure or anything, Sophie).

Have any favorites to add?

It’s like Eat, Pray, Love, but with a male protagonist.  I call it Eat, Belch, F#ck.

gut·ter clean·ing v: the act of committing one’s random or maddeningly obsessive thoughts to written form, so as to allow the resumption of unimpeded and coherent thought processes.  As in,

Garage-band names I haven’t seen yet, but wish I had

The Park All Days
Al’s Body and Lube
In and Out Privileges
The Sunoco on 18th Street
Gasoline Alley
The Clopay Doors
Level Full
The Port Authorities

There. Much better now.

gut·ter clean·ing v: the act of committing one’s random or maddeningly obsessive thoughts to written form, so as to allow the resumption of unimpeded and coherent thought processes.  As in,

Character names I’d like to use but haven’t yet

Jules Anderfurth
Midge Fortunada
Antonia Toney
Lars Juarez
Candie Michaelman
Higgs Benson
Ayer Jessup
Ronsen Schweigardt
Harold “Hub” Nash
Yvonne Christiansen St. John Weathers, aka “Ginny”

There. Now I can get back to writing.